1. What is the central purpose of this book?

The book aims to share the author’s uniquely positive experience with her earthly father to help readers understand and feel the “all-encompassing love” of the Heavenly Father, Adonai. It serves as a bridge for those who may have had challenging or absent paternal figures, offering a tangible example of profound love that can then be attributed to God. The author also intends for it to be an encouraging mirror for fathers, a blueprint for women seeking partners, and a source of comfort for anyone longing for a father’s love. 

2. How did the author’s father’s death impact her life and understanding of the world?

The author’s father’s death on October 24, 1983, when she was 24 and he was 53, was the most devastating event of her life. It shattered her world, creating a huge void and making her realize the impermanence of life. She struggled with the idea that he would never grow old or experience retirement, and she canceled her wedding planned just three days later, unable to imagine celebrating without him. The grief was so profound that it took two years for the shock to begin to heal, with everyday triggers bringing intense pain. She describes his death as an “unwanted and intrusive rite of passage” that divided her life into two distinct chapters. 

3. What specific qualities did the author’s father possess that made him so influential in her life?

The author describes her father as her “superhero, savior, mentor, best friend, the wind in my sails, and my steady rudder.” He was a constant source of encouragement, always there to listen intently, express his love (“I love you more than you can ever know,” “I love you so much that it hurts”), and make her feel proud. He offered a “genuine, warm, and loving embrace” that made the world fade away. His love was characterized by empathy, kindheartedness, concern, guidance, humor, warmth, acceptance, and a desire to be her “knight in shining armor.” 

4. Why did the author initially hesitate to share her father’s story, and what prompted her to change her mind?

The author initially hesitated to share her memories because she didn’t want friends to feel bad or jealous if their fathers weren’t as loving as hers. She worried that relating stories about her father would make others sad by comparison. However, a conversation with her friend Michael provided a profound moment of clarity. Michael, whose own childhood experiences were “diametrically opposed” to hers, pointed out that her father’s love gave her a unique understanding of Adonai’s love. He convinced her that she had an obligation to share her experience, hoping it would help others, especially those who struggled to grasp God’s love due to a lack of similar earthly paternal affection, feel it more tangibly. 

5. How does one’s experience with an earthly father influence their perception of God (Adonai)?

The author believes that one’s experience with an earthly father directly shapes the “lens” through which they view their Heavenly Father, Adonai. If an earthly father was distant, absent, punishing, or abusive, individuals might project those qualities onto Adonai, assuming He is the same. This “broken lens” can damage not only one’s relationship with Adonai but also every other relationship in their lives, leading them to desperately seek or push away love. Conversely, a loving and supportive earthly father, like the author’s, can make it natural to believe, understand, and feel the “overwhelming and enduring love” of the Heavenly Father. 

6. Who are the three specific types of readers the book is written for, and what does the author hope they gain?

The book is written for three specific types of readers: 

For the Man Who Is a Father: The author hopes these memories serve as an encouraging mirror, highlighting the immeasurable impact of a father’s presence, love, and active role in his daughter’s life. It aims to show the legacy created by a “daddy’s heart” and encourage fathers to cherish their families. 

For the Woman Seeking a Partner: The stories are offered as a blueprint, teaching women how a man should love a woman and his children (as a teammate with encouragement, support, and forgiveness). It guides them to recognize profound qualities in a man who truly loves, enabling them to choose a partner who builds a family on genuine love, responsibility, and devotion. 

For Everyone Who Seeks a Father’s Love: The author invites these readers to see that the loving, encouraging, forgiving, and supportive heart of her own father is, in fact, “the very heart of God.” She encourages them to look to Adonai with great expectation, assuring them that He can fill and transform empty spaces, just as He did for her. 

7. What is the significance of the term “Adonai” in the context of this book?

The author uses the term “Adonai” to refer to the Heavenly Father. She includes a note explaining that, for non-Jewish readers, it is simply a term of “respect and endearment.” The use of Adonai emphasizes a deep, personal connection to her faith and allows her to express her understanding of God’s masculine, heroic, super powerful, and all-encompassing love through a specific religious lens, aligning with her spiritual journey. 

8. How does the author suggest readers engage with the book to fully understand God’s love?

The author invites readers to “hold my hand tightly as we walk through my life with Daddy” to understand and feel the “nourishing love of God.” She also adds a scripture verse at the end of each chapter, chosen to emphasize her dad’s nature and character, and encourages readers to see reading the Bible as “climbing up onto his lap as he cuddles and teaches me.” Her ultimate goal is for readers to “jump in with me to ‘live’ God’s overflowing ‘love’,” suggesting an immersive and emotionally connective experience with the text.