Chapter 5: Daddy Adored Mommy 

Daddy and Mommy lived as newlyweds for 29 years, until the day he died.  Witnessing that enduring, fresh love throughout my entire childhood was a constant source of wonder and deep security for me. It was the most beautiful blueprint for a partnership I could ever imagine.   Daddy was always wonderfully affectionate with Mommy. It created a warm, loving atmosphere in our home that I cherished, making me feel wrapped in their profound connection. 

Daddy had gorgeous red hair and shining green eyes.  He was dashing, handsome, and charming.  Mommy was strikingly beautiful with a model body, black hair cut in an adorable Audrey Hepburn “Roman Holiday” style, big beautiful brown eyes, a luminescent pearl complexion, and a smile that knocked his socks off. Growing up, I often marveled at their striking presence, a truly captivating couple whose love story seemed to be written in the stars. 

Mommy was a Barbizon Studios Model in New York City.  I found her Barbizon notebook dated September of 1945.  She walked, dressed, smiled, accessorized clothing, and posed for pictures as a trained runway model until the day she passed. Knowing this part of her past, and witnessing her enduring elegance, filled me with immense pride and a deep admiration for her timeless grace. 

Daddy marveled aloud that she became more beautiful every day. Hearing him say that, so genuinely, taught me so much about seeing true beauty beyond the surface and the power of loving affirmation. He would hug and kiss her and tell her he loved her all the time. These tender moments were a daily rhythm, a comforting melody that imprinted on my soul what unwavering devotion looked and felt like.   

Seeing Mommy beam with happiness because of his attention, in turn, made me feel special and deeply content. When she walked by, he would touch or kiss her and say something sweet.  Even as a child, I recognized these small, spontaneous gestures as powerful expressions of a love that was alive and constantly celebrated. When he traveled, she would be waiting expectantly for their reunion. Those reunions were always so poignant, vivid displays of how much they truly missed and treasured each other, reinforcing the depth of their bond in my young mind. 

Daddy Radiated Pride of Mommy to Others 

Daddy spoke admiringly of Mommy in public. His voice would light up with genuine pride, and it was a powerful example for me of how a partner should uplift and celebrate their loved one.  Mommy decorated our home with her beautiful needlepoints and crewel work. The local paper came to take photos.  Daddy bought several copies of the Buffalo Evening News and the Amherst Bee when Mommy’s artwork was published.   

I often overheard him speaking about Mommy with precious, sweet stories.  Each story was a thread woven into the rich tapestry of our family life, making me feel even more connected to their beautiful history.  He highlighted her creative writing, her artistic and interior design talent, and her extensive knowledge of jewelry and antiques. He championed her passions, teaching me to value and acknowledge the talents of those I love. 

When Mommy redecorated our living room, he invited every guest to come and see.  I remember the pride radiating from him, and how it made our home feel like a gallery, a testament to Mommy’s artistry, filling me with contentment. Our home was always a reflection of her beautiful spirit and Daddy’s unwavering admiration, a comforting, art-filled sanctuary.  His boundless pride in her filled me with immense joy and a deep sense of family unity. 

Romantic Courage and Destiny 

My parents shared an exciting and romantic history. And oh, what a story it was – one that always made my heart race with a mix of awe and admiration for the incredible courage and destiny that brought them together.   Mommy was an expert horseback rider who broke in horses for the Malibu Dude Ranch outside of New York City on the weekends.  She was at the Dude Ranch restaurant with her boyfriend when Daddy arrived.  He saw that this boyfriend was quite disrespectful toward Mommy.  Daddy could not tolerate any man who was abusive toward a woman. This deeply ingrained principle in him was something I absorbed and cherished; it made me feel incredibly safe and showed me the true meaning of being a gentleman. 

Daddy was 24 years old, 6 feet tall and skinny.  He had just returned from his Air Force duty in Korea.  He was very brave, and not afraid of a battle.  Daddy stood up for those who could not defend themselves.  This was one of those times. Even hearing this story years later, I could feel the fierce determination that must have coursed through him, a powerful sense of justice that resonated deeply within me.  Daddy courageously stepped forward and confronted the boyfriend.  Daddy was beaten to a bloody pulp!  The image of my strong, brave Daddy being beaten brought a pang to my heart, but it was overshadowed by a profound sense of awe for his incredible, selfless bravery at that moment. 

Yet, wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles, Mommy fell in love, right then and there, with Daddy!  This moment felt like a scene from a movie, a testament to the magic of true love sparked by an act of pure heroism. It taught me about the unexpected, breathtaking turns life can take.  Mommy was immediately smitten by the handsome ‘Knight in Shining Armor’ who came to her rescue.  It filled my imagination with stories of romance and courage, forever shaping my understanding of what a hero truly is.  Daddy might have lost the battle, but he certainly won the war.  This thought always makes me smile, understanding the profound truth behind it – that sometimes the greatest victories are won not with fists, but with heart.   

The Secret Wedding 

Twenty-eight days later, they had a ‘secret’ wedding.  The swiftness of their love, their secret vows, painted a picture of a love so undeniable and urgent it couldn’t wait, and incredibly romantic.  Daddy always carried a romantic honeymoon photo in his wallet of the two of them cuddled in their pajamas.  This small, tender detail always brought tears to my eyes, a powerful symbol of his constant love.  A few months later, they had their ‘public’ wedding.  Yet, their ‘secret’ wedding date was always their most special celebration.  It felt like a private, cherished secret shared only within our closest family, making that day feel even more sacred and personal to me. 

Daddy was proud to take Mommy out, and they had an active social schedule.  He held Mommy in high esteem.  You could see it in his eyes, and in hers. Their mutual adoration wasn’t just visible; it was palpable, creating a loving atmosphere that enveloped me and taught me what true partnership looked like, a bond filled with respect and genuine affection.  

It was Mommy’s ritual to dress up for their special dates.  I observed her meticulous preparations with a child’s fascination, sensing the importance and joy she found in this personal ritual.  No matter how long Mommy took, he waited expectantly and always told her how beautiful she was at every grand entrance.  Their ‘pomp and circumstance’ gave us all joy.  My heart swelled with joy every time I witnessed this ritual, understanding that Daddy’s patient anticipation and heartfelt compliments were not just words, but a profound expression of his unwavering love that created a special kind of magic in our lives.   

She loved the process of selecting the perfect outfit, makeup, and ideal jewelry and accessories.  When she would make her appearance all dressed and ready to go, Daddy would exclaim “how beautiful” she looks!  She would be beaming from his high regard and constant loving attention.  Seeing Mommy light up like that, radiant from Daddy’s genuine affection, filled me with happiness and a deep understanding of how truly loved she was.  

Mommy hated being rushed.  She had a little sign that said, “Hit me, kick me, cuss me, but please don’t rush me.”  Daddy joked about it occasionally, but he really didn’t seem to mind.  It was a testament to Daddy’s boundless patience and their shared, gentle humor, a small detail that painted a beautiful picture of their unique, accepting dance together.  I could sense her quiet joy and anticipation for these special outings, and it made me happy to see her so content.  

Babysitter Desperation 

When I was seven years old, we moved to a new neighborhood.  I heard Mommy on the phone lamenting to her friend that they couldn’t go out because we did not have a babysitter in our new area.  As it was important for Daddy to take Mommy out, I took it as my personal mission to find us a babysitter.  How would I, a seven-year-old child, living in a brand-new neighborhood, find a babysitter?  Hearing Mommy’s wistful tone, a deep pang of empathy stirred within my seven-year-old heart. I felt an urgent need to fix this, to restore their joy, and the magnitude of this personal mission settled on my small shoulders with an almost overwhelming sense of responsibility and hope. 

I was busy pondering this problem while I was playing out in the front yard.  Just then, a teenager was riding by our house on her bicycle. I ran after her bicycle, calling out to ask her if she babysits?  My heart hammered with desperate hope as I chased after her, propelled by an unwavering determination that only a child on a mission can possess, every fiber of my being focused on this vital task. 

She stopped her bicycle, turned toward me, and said “Yes, I do babysit”.  Relief washed over me, immediately replaced by a surge of triumphant excitement. I practically dragged her, my little heart bursting with the success of my secret mission, eager to deliver the good news. 

She was shocked at first, but very kind to follow a crazy, excited, little girl to meet her Mommy.  Mommy called the teenager’s mother to have a conversation.  It turned out that this teen, Selby Lee Haupert, was an experienced babysitter who lived on the next block, just catty-corner behind us.  Seeing Mommy’s face light up with such genuine elation filled me with a profound sense of accomplishment and pride; I had brought a little piece of their happiness back.  My parents would have their dates again! 

Amazingly, from that day forward, Selby Lee became our favorite babysitter.  She was young, fun, and loved to play.  Even 50 years later, Selby Lee is a very special lady who has remained friends with the crazy child who ran after her bicycle.  We will always laugh about the way we met!  It fills my heart with warmth to know that the bold, hopeful action of that seven-year-old girl led to a friendship that has endured for half a century, a testament to the unexpected blessings and connections life offers.   

Daddy’s love for Mommy made a profound impression on my life.  They had a deeply committed, faithful and loving marital bond.   In turn, I felt safe, protected, and cherished.  It was nurturing for me as a child to grow up in a family that ardently demonstrated love toward one another and toward me.  It gave me the confidence to face the world with the solid support of united, loving, and nurturing parents.   

This profound impression wasn’t just a thought; it was a foundational feeling, a bedrock of security and belonging that pulsed through every fiber of my being. I absorbed their ardent love like sunshine, allowing it to cultivate within me an unshakeable confidence, knowing I was wrapped in the unwavering embrace of a truly united, loving, and nurturing family. This feeling of being utterly cherished remains with me always.