Chapter 1: Daddy’s Joy in the Morning 

Daddy loved mornings. He would wake up before the chirping birds to joyfully greet the day. He enjoyed being awake before everyone else. I never heard him moving around in the mornings as he had a gift for moving silently, but he was always up before dawn. It was his special time with God. He was my role model for “bright eyed and bushy tailed” as he would burst forth and energetically tackle the opportunities and challenges of each new day. 

With Daddy’s Executive position, he often traveled. Daddy liked to be early to the airport and take the first flight out in the morning. It was one of the ways he said he could “contemplate his navel”. It was a Daddy-expression for his time to relax. Sometimes he would sit at the gate and watch the people go by and imagine what each one did for a living or wonder where they were going. “Contemplating his navel” and sitting quietly by himself, waiting on his flight, offered him precious breathing space and a much-needed respite from his otherwise hectic and busy business world. 

Daddy as My Alarm Clock: The Morning Caress 

When he was at home, Daddy was my alarm clock. From as early as I can remember, Daddy would come to my bedside at the break of dawn, gently run his fingers through my hair and slowly pet my face and head. I would melt into his soft, sweet caress and enjoy every precious moment. His soft fingers would glide across my cheek, and through my hair. His soft touch felt so gentle and loving. 

Just before sunrise, he would be freshly showered, dressed in his suit, and ready for work. I could smell the cleanliness of his skin, freshly laundered and starched shirt, and his crisp masculine aftershave enveloping me in a scent I can still recall. The songbirds would be peeping and singing outside my windows welcoming the morning sunrise. It was a treasured bonding time. I cherished those moments, wanting them to last forever. Today I can close my eyes and still feel him sitting on the edge of my bed running his fingers tenderly through my hair, as if he were still here. 

It was as if time stood still when he was petting me awake. I’m sure he knew that I loved it. I would revel in the soft sweetness of his loving caress. His fingers were so soft and would slowly move through my hair. I always looked forward to moments of sheer, time-stopping bliss. It was a daily tangible feeling of Daddy’s love. 

As time passed, Daddy would speak softly to me. He would gently whisper that the day was beautiful, he loves me, and it is time to get up. When I opened my eyes, he would be looking at me so caringly, I could tangibly feel his love and adoration. His whispered words and loving gaze were extensions of his palpable affection, always making it a marvelous start to my day. 

Pretending to Sleep 

If I woke before he came in, I strained to listen for the gentle sound of his footsteps. I did not want him to know that I was awake yet or I would miss his special touch. I would hold my breath, stay in bed, and focus my ears to hear his faint footsteps in the hall. Then, oh so quietly, the doorknob would barely click as he entered the room, a barely audible sound. If I were awake, I would shut my eyes just in time and pretend to be soundly sleeping. It was one of my favorite daily delights. If he knew that I wasn’t asleep, his quiet acknowledgement of my game, was a perfect example of our special Daddy-daughter time that we shared through the years. 

Winter in Buffalo: The Mind Trick 

Winters in Buffalo, New York were freezing cold. Blinding biting blizzards would last for days. I dreaded the winter walk to the school bus because of the frigid temperature. The wind and snow would whip across my face. The storm winds pushed against my small body as I heroically struggled to get to the end of the block, eight houses away. I shared with Daddy that it felt as if we were living in Antarctica with penguins and polar bears. 

Daddy empathized with my plight, his warmth countering the biting cold I described, and told me that I could trick my mind into feeling warmer. He said that as I walked in the cold, simply “imagine myself on a very hot beach with the sun shining down on me” so that I would be melting in the heat. To this day, when I am bitter cold, I still try to imagine myself sweating in the intense warmth of a hot, sandy beach, a legacy of his clever comfort. 

Bedtime Rituals: Sleep Loose and Angels’ Guard 

When Daddy kissed me goodnight, he would always say “sleep loose” instead of “sleep tight.” It was one of his special “Daddy-isms” to remind me to relax, wind down and fall asleep, setting a tone of peace and security before rest. 

He taught me to nightly pray: “Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray to the Lord my soul to take. Amen.” 

When I had trouble falling asleep, I asked Daddy what to do. He said to stretch out in bed and begin to focus on my body, one part at a time. He recommended that I start with one foot, and then the next part, stiffen it, and then relax it, taking deep breaths. By the time I reached my head, my whole body would relax and be ready for sleep. 

Daddy taught me to watch in the dark for Adonai’s angels who would come to keep guard over me during the night. I do not know if it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but every night I would see an approaching sparkling blanket of little brightly colored twinkling light clusters. The luminosities would rush in, briefly dip down at the foot of my bed, and then arc over my body like a flying blanket. I would lay in bed eagerly awaiting the rushing lights to come in and sweep dramatically over me, a sense of wonder mixed with profound safety. After they covered me, I could fall asleep, safe in the comfort of my protecting angels. 

Adonai’s Embrace: The Enduring Connection 

Although Daddy is gone, our almighty, incredible, amazing Adonai is there for me. This is how I feel when I read His Word. I have great excitement as I prop myself up with a pillow and take a deep breath before I open the bible. I hear Adonai speaking gently to me and telling me stories, just as Daddy did. I feel him petting me, a familiar, comforting touch. He is putting his arms around me in a loving embrace, a divine echo of those cherished moments with Daddy. His words are filling me up with His love. I am so addicted to his words that I cannot fall asleep without his scriptures.