Forward 

The Day that Shattered My World 

My dad passed away on October 24, 1983. He was only 53, and I had just turned 24. It was the most devastating event of my life. His death created a huge void, and it felt as if the solid ground had disintegrated beneath my feet. I had the sudden, shocking realization that nothing in this world would last forever—that my life could change in one single, unexpected, and horrifying moment. 

I couldn’t get over the idea that Daddy would never grow old. He would never have the chance to retire, travel, and live “happily ever after” with Mommy. Overnight, my dad—who was my superhero, savior, mentor, best friend, the wind in my sails, and my steady rudder—was gone forever. 

He wouldn’t be there to answer the phone every time I needed to hear his loving voice. He would no longer call me every Sunday morning to tell me how much he loved me. He wouldn’t be there for our powerful father-daughter talks, to gaze deeply into my eyes and listen intently to every little thing that felt important to me. He would no longer be my constant, unwavering encourager. I would miss his sweet voice saying how “proud he is” of me. I wouldn’t be able to run to him and melt completely into his genuine, warm, and loving embrace that made the rest of the world fade away. I would never again hear him say, “I love you more than you can ever know,” or “I love you so much that it hurts.” 

He wouldn’t be there to proudly walk me down the aisle at my wedding, which was planned for just three days later. Of course, I canceled the wedding. How could I think of celebrating life? The idea of celebrating anything without him, of stepping into a new life without his presence, was unthinkable. It felt as if my life had abruptly shattered into a million shards of glass, lying torn and neglected amidst the broken pieces. 

Cut Into Two Pieces 

The book of my life was suddenly and dramatically cut into two pieces. The first, and most amazing, chapter with Daddy was yanked away, leaving only this new, sad, and overwhelming chapter that began the moment he died. I knew that Daddy’s death would always be the most significant division of my life. It was an unwanted and intrusive rite of passage. I was too young. He was too young. It was too soon! I was not ready! Would I ever be ready for this? 

The shock took a long, painful two years to begin to heal. The world was full of triggers that felt like personal torture. Seeing an elderly man crossing the street made me burst into tears, knowing that Daddy would never grow old. Watching a father hold his daughter’s hand made me pine for his touch. Seeing a father carry his daughter on his shoulders made me cry as I thought of how I used to sit on Daddy’s shoulders. I ran from the room during a father-daughter dance at a wedding, as I intensely felt his absence. I couldn’t process the overflowing flood of emotions without my amazing Daddy dancing with me. Memories of dancing with him as a child, keeping my tiny feet balanced carefully on his shoes while he spun me across the dance floor, overwhelmed me with acute pain. 

Mommy’s Pain 

Mommy, who lived alone until she passed on December 14, 2001, was an amazing, exceptional, and beautiful woman. She was an extraordinary mother who perfected my ideal childhood. She never recovered from the loss of her adoring and protective husband. Their two hearts were knit tightly together as one. I am sure that what I was feeling was then multiplied by 10,000 inside her heart. We lived with Daddy-sized holes in our hearts. Although it was cancer that took both of their lives, Mommy died of a broken and shattered heart. 

I often had the desire to share about Daddy because of his all-encompassing love, joy, and compassion. For years I hesitated to share my memories because I didn’t want friends to feel bad because their father was not like mine. I didn’t want people to be jealous that they missed having a father who loved them as much as Daddy loved me. There were instances when I wanted to relate a story from my past, but I held back, not wanting others to feel sad as they compared their father to mine. 

You Have to Share 

One day, my friend Michael and I were discussing the Bible. We were comparing Adonai’s (God’s) love with our father’s love here on earth. Because I had the most incredible earthly father, it is natural for me to believe, understand, and feel the overwhelming and enduring love of our Heavenly Father. Unfortunately, Michael’s father was not like mine. In fact, our childhood experiences were diametrically opposed. He told me that my father’s love, empathy, kindheartedness, concern, guidance, humor, warmth, acceptance, adoration, and desire to be my “knight in shining armor” gave me a unique experience that few others had. He said I had an obligation to share it with others. Michael always had the desire to know and fully understand the true love of Adonai. Perhaps, through my sharing, our Heavenly Father’s love would be felt more tangibly. 

It was a profound moment of clarity. I saw then that our experience with an earthly father directly shapes the lens through which we view our Heavenly Father. If our father’s love was distant, absent, punishing, or abusive, we will assume Adonai’s is too. This broken lens creates a ripple effect, damaging not only our relationship with Adonai, but every other relationship in our lives—with spouses, children, family, friends, and even ourselves. We desperately seek a love we never received or push it away for fear of being hurt. This is especially true for those who grew up in a negative or unloving home. 

Michael assured me that my Daddy’s love was important for others to know and feel. My friends who didn’t have this same special love from their earthly father find it much harder to understand the tremendous love of our Heavenly Father. Although both my parents were superheroes, I am choosing to focus this book on Daddy so that you will feel Adonai’s masculine, heroic, super powerful, all-encompassing love in a tangible way. 

If you grew up in a challenging, abusive, or negligent environment, you may see Adonai as a father who might not keep his word or be there for you. Perhaps your father did not encourage you to run to him to share every daily detail of your life. Maybe you ran away from your father who was too weak or too strong. Your father possibly watched for what you did wrong and ruled your life through threats and punishment. You might feel Adonai’s word as rules and regulations, just waiting for you to “fail.” Maybe your father was too busy to spend quality time with you, or you didn’t even have an active or present father in your life. Today, fatherless homes are tragically the majority in the USA. We all crave and need a father’s love, encouragement, direction, and guidance. A father’s love for us becomes the “wind beneath our sails” that should firmly stabilize and buoy us into maturity. 

The Purpose of This Book 

Michael said my father’s all-encompassing love was a gift, and because of it, I had a uniquely tangible understanding of God’s love that many people—including him—couldn’t grasp. He told me I had an obligation to share my experience, hoping that through my stories, God’s love would be felt more powerfully. This book is my gift to you, from my heart, and it is written for three specific readers. 

For the Man Who Is a Father: I pray that these memories will be an encouraging mirror for you. This book is a chance to see the immeasurable impact of your presence, your love, and your active role in your daughter’s life. Every moment you invest—from a strong fatherly hug or a cuddle on the couch to a simple “I’m proud of you”—builds a solid foundation for your daughter’s future. It shapes her self-worth, her emotional health, and her future relationships. This book will show you the legacy you are creating with a daddy’s heart. I pray that your role as a husband and father will encourage you to cherish the treasure that Adonai has given to you in your family. 

For the Woman Seeking a Partner: I offer these stories as a blueprint. Daddy’s love taught me how a man should love a woman and his children—as a teammate with encouragement, support, and forgiveness. He taught me to look for a man who would prioritize his relationships and make them a cornerstone of his life. Please read my memories and use them to recognize the profound qualities in a man who truly loves, so you can choose a partner who will build a family on a foundation of genuine love, responsibility, and devotion. 

For Everyone Who Seeks a Father’s Love: Through Adonai’s lens of unconditional love, I can truly feel and understand the heart of our Heavenly Father. I invite you to see that the loving, encouraging, forgiving, and supportive heart of Daddy is, in fact, the very heart of God. If you have ever longed for a father’s affection, please, do not feel a sense of lack. Instead, look to our almighty Adonai with great expectation. He has filled and transformed the dark, empty space in my life, and he is calling to you personally at this very moment. Isn’t that incredible? 

I am adding a scripture verse especially for you at the end of each chapter. These verses emphasize my dad’s nature and character throughout the entirety of Adonai’s word. When I read the Bible, I am climbing up onto his lap as he cuddles and teaches me. I am asking you to hold my hand tightly as we walk through my life with Daddy so that you can understand and feel the nourishing love of God. His godly ‘love’ is way beyond this world’s ever-fluid definition of ‘love.’ Please jump in with me to “live” God’s overflowing “love.”